Gettin' Down With Brit's "3"

I've said it before. I have such a love/hate relationship for Ms. Britney Spears and her virgin/whore marketing ploys (yes, it's a real scheme, and if you haven't heard of it, I suggest you look it up. We actually studied it in my Music Publicity and Commerce class in college, using Ms. Spears as a case subject. No joke.) To put it simply: "Baby One More Time, "Oops I Did It Again", "Stronger", "Toxic", "Everytime", "Circus" and "Toxic" (and now "3") are featured in my iTunes...but other than that....

But there's just something about a sweet beat and some risque and ridiculous lyrics written by the pop God that is Max Martin that just leads to a good time, no matter who sings it, and there is no denying that Brit is truly the Queen of this type of thing. For our generation, anyway.

If you thought "If U Seek Amy" was too hot to handle, I've got news: Brit (or at least the people who help her choose material/write the actual material/etc.) and her lesbian one-night-stand exploits are so 2009. Err, early 2009, anyway.

Now, it's all about the oft-referred-but-hardly-ever-in-pop-music ménage à trois, also known as a sexual exploit with not one other person but two other people, as cleverly (read: not really) hidden in the lyrics to her new single, "3", off of her upcoming "Greatest Hits" package.

(NOTE: As Paul stated, didn't she just release a "Greatest Hits" like...two years ago? Hmm. Some people at Jive Records must be hurting for X-Mas bonuses or something, considering Chris Brown is struggling to return to his sweet kid next door act and Justin Timberlake hasn't released a proper record since '06.)

The lyrical content is not the reason why I like "3". In fact, its the lyrics that make me kind of want to crawl into a corner and listen to the song on blast in my headphones rather than rock out in the open, because they are borderline ridiculous and at times completely bewildering. Case in point:

• "3P" --> What the kids call a three-some. Apparently? (Insert Mel's confused face here. I clearly don't go to the right parties...or something.)
  
  
• "Twister on the Floor" --> Yeah, I can never play that game ever again. Thanks.
  
  
• "Living in Sin is the New Thing" --> I don't really think it's that new, to be honest.
  
  
• And of course, "Peter, Paul & Mary" --> (or, as I first heard it, "Peter, Paul & McGhee"...haha) problem referring to it being two chicos with her in her "3". I'm guessing it's also a tongue-in-cheek reference to the Biblical characters, seeing as this is the epitome of "not that innocent" behavior. Or, as Poster Girl suggested to me, perhaps it's a reference to the folk singing group Peter Paul and Mary, which in that case is probably some kind of drug reference ("Puff the Magic Dragon", anyone?) or some dirty take on "If I Had A Hammer" (I would hammer in the mornin', I would hammer in the evening...okay...this is just wrong that I'm twisting this song. Wow.) Anyway you look at it, that Max Martin is an interesting creature that likes to confuse us (and I tend to completely overanalyze things). I think we can all agree on that one.

It's the beat, the melody and the pure catchiness of the chorus that got me from go, to the point that a song I wasn't even that psyched to hear suddenly became my most played song of the week so far. Especially that stop-go bit before the chorus launches. Rawr, indeed. As the Los Angeles Times put it, it's pure "production seduction" (Is that not the catchiest description of a pop song you've ever heard? Well maybe not ever, but...Screw 'Melismatic', I wanna rename my blog that. Dang.)